Love Poem: Devyani
Ishq, khel jaisa
Kaafi saal dar or
soch mein nikal gye
aur baaki ke khelne me
Khel bhi kaisa?
Cricket ki ball jaisa
jo kahi bhi chalaa jaaye
mera dil bhi
ghissa usi ki tarah
ek hi khel mein
hazaaro baar.
Ab sochti hu
Kaash mujhe bhi chess aati
to shayad main bhi dimaag lagaati
Kaafi saal zada dimaag
lagane me
aur shaq ki roti khaane mein
nikal gaya
nikal gaya ab jo nikalna tha
Par maanungi main aaj bhi yahi
mere ishq mein iss dil ki chaal
Shatranj ki rani se kam nahi
Chaahe haar bhi jaau raja se
Iss baat ka mujhe koi gum nahi
अच्छा है
ReplyDelete"Kaash mujhe bhi chess aati". Loved this line and stanza. Kai bar love dimag ka khel banke reh jata hai. jisme hum apne steps dhyan se calculate karte rehte hai. Lovely poem!
ReplyDeleteइसे कहा जाता है साफ़ और सीधी बात वो भी इतने सरल शब्दों में, बहुत खूब।
ReplyDeleteIt's nice
ReplyDeleteMy favourite lines in your poem are-
ReplyDelete" Kaash mujhe bhi chess aati
to shayad main bhi dimaag lagaati "
I loved the depiction of both- power and powerlessness in your poem. How you are talking about your heart being so vulnerable (as a cricket ball) which keeps taking its own direction. And with this, at the end where you are calling yourself a queen where you know that at the end of the day you can take control of your life, no matter what is thrown at you.
Just a word of advice- the last stanza is a little heavy, and although it plays out very well in terms of intensity, maybe you could break it a little to go along with the rest of the stanzas.
Hi Devyani
ReplyDeleteI loved how consistent you were with your overarching metaphor throughout the poem. The nostalgia in your poem gets portrayed really well with the metaphor of the games we once played as hobbies. There is acceptance at the end of the poem, which is where the real growth of the poetic persona lies, and I feel like that's your greatest feat in this piece, and it works really well for the poem in general, with winning and losing being at its very end.