Ghazal by Dhiman Das

Logo ko dekhne par
Ajkal burai kehte hai
iss burai ko itni gehri se na samajhne
mein hee bhalai hoti hai.

jaha haseen mein hee duniya kayam hai
waha yeh pyar kya cheej hoti hai!


Kaise hatau meri nazar
Tumhare upar suraj ki kirne jaise para hai.
agar hatau bhi toh
khud ko ghamandi mehsoos hoti hai


Shukar karo me tumhare paas nahi..
Shukar karo me tumhare paas toh nahi
lekin itni si nazariya
ferna hakk toh banta hai


Yeh nazar...badi kutti cheej hai
Usse bhi jyada hai muskaan
areh usski gaali bhi malai jaise pighalti hai


Pata nahi ese kahani
kaise banayi jati hai
jahan shabdo ka hee anek roop
dikhay padta hai


isliye dhiman ko matlab puchna,
asmaan mein sitaare ginna
aur shehnai ko sapera kehne jaisa
mannbuddhi wali baat hoti hai.

Comments

  1. Dhiman, I don't think so it's following the Ghazal form properly. You should check other ghazals available on internet and then should make necessary corrections.

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    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Hm thanks for the suggestion. The comment somehow got deleted don't know how. Yes so, let me see what needs to be changed after sir also advices on it. And since i said i am not into ghazal poem writing so there might be few lackings.

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  2. Guys!--
    On the occasion of the birth anniversary of our Ghazal king Jagjeet Singh, and the death anniversary of the great Nida Fazli, here's a wonderful creative collaboration of the duo--

    दूप में निकलो घटाओं में नहा कर देखो
    ज़िंदगी क्या है किताबों को हटा कर देखो
    वो सितारा है चमकने दो यूँ ही आँखों में
    क्या ज़रूरी है उसे जिस्म बना कर देखो
    पत्थरों में भी ज़ुबाँ होती है दिल होते हैं
    अपने घर के दर-ओ-दीवार सजा कर देखो
    फ़ासला नज़रों का धोखा भी तो हो सकता है
    वो मिले या न मिले हाथ बढ़ा कर देखो
    ~~निदा फ़ाज़ली
    Enjoy the track, sung/composed by Jagjeet Singh, from the album Sajda: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgCE_s5KVe4



    (note: the Ghazals I shared commenting on Priyanka's Ghazal are also collaborations of the duo only)

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  3. Here's another Ghazal, small metre--

    आज फिर उन का सामना होगा
    क्या पता उस के बाद क्या होगा
    आसमाँ रो रहा है दो दिन से
    आप ने कुछ कहा-सुना होगा
    दो क़दम पर सही तेरा कूचा_ (street/lane)
    ये भी सदियों का फ़ासला होगा
    घर जलाता है रौशनी के लिए
    कोई मुझ सा ही दिल जला होगा
    ~~सबा सीकरी
    Sung/composed by Jagjeet Singh, from the album 'Loves Is Blind': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpnVIP4aMJ0

    Jesus Loves You!

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  4. Hi Dhiman!

    The form of the ghazal is not followed. Try and follow that because it also helps in the thought process while writing a ghazal.
    Also, the lines are not giving much sense to each other.
    There is no connecting thread of thoughts.

    Your thought are wonderful but you need to put them all together and relate them with each other.

    Good work.

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    Replies
    1. Yes. I will try it. And the connectivity which you are talking is because of two thought working together. May be for that you are not able to relate. Anyways, thanks for the feedback.

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