Love Poem : Manya

Strip
The chemicals in my bloodstream
are quickly depleting, 
the memory of your touch, 
the textures of your love, 
the serotonin in my being, 
the lingering scent and sheen, 
the patterns that you traced
on my bare wanton skin, 
the brushing of your fingers
with my patience stretching thin, 
are now being forgotten, 
will soon be forgotten.

Comments

  1. Sukh Mehak KaurFebruary 14, 2019 at 3:17 AM

    I really liked this one.
    a small suggestion would be to end it at just "soon" and not "will soon be forgotten". I think would add to the sentiment and slight feeling of an inability to forget that has been gestured at.
    kudos.
    good work.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shubham AryaFebruary 16, 2019 at 4:55 AM

    Hello Manya!
    Loved reading this piece! The entire thought is well-structured and tied together, in fact, the very conception of the idea that memory is nothing but a precarious chemical reserve. Your feat is that you actually said this in a poem, that too poetically, you've ket a sense of rhythm as well. Wonderful!
    Cheers!
    Jesus Loves You!

    ReplyDelete
  3. NEHAFebruary 16, 2019 at 11:23 PM

    hi manya!
    this poem is very simple and relax. I enjoyed while reading. i can understand rythm easily.MST HAI!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jasmine YadavFebruary 25, 2019 at 5:49 AM

    The elaborate, almost tempting details of an erotic experience are suddenly taken away from the reader as they are being taken away from your poetic persona as well. The poem allows the reader into the intimate, vulnerable space of the poet. I did feel like the last lines could be framed differently. Just a thought! It was a lovely read!

    ReplyDelete

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