A Love Poem


Teared 



 Those fingers shivered
as they weaved
the tender thread
Tired were those eyes
Or teary they turned?
Intricately, she designed its fate.
Maniacally, she devoured its charm.

Those teary eyes wondered
how long will this union last?
Those fingers shivered
to wrap the torn pieces of her heart,
in the last sparkling tears.

 And, again those hands shivered.
 And, again was that heart torn?
-Preeti

Comments

  1. Shubham AryaFebruary 11, 2019 at 2:36 AM

    Hello Preeti!
    I must say that it's a well-thought one, you could hang on and work closely with your ideas (which needed to be threaded), the word choices are wonderful too. You've distanced yourself as a poetic persona, and have reported the occurrent very poetically. The parting became inevitable for "she had intricately weaved its fate", and "maniacally devoured its charm"-- this is unresolvable, and the beauty of the poem.
    However, (not sure though), but perhaps should have been more organized in terms of it's craft, in terms of its appearance-- you've begun, and the first part of it was without any punctuation, and the first part seemsa little big because of that.

    Wonderful otherwise!
    Cheers!
    Jesus Loves You!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. preetiFebruary 16, 2019 at 10:00 AM

      You are correct about the punctuation. I realized it, and I struggled a bit with the punctuation mark. Thank you for drawing my attention to the problem area of the poem.
      There's a Lot to Learn!

      Delete
  2. DevyaniFebruary 26, 2019 at 9:41 AM

    Hi Preeti
    I could visualise the image through your words used in this poem.
    What stayed with me is the line about the tender thread weaved with the shivering hands. I could form a mental image about it.
    Well written.

    ReplyDelete

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