Villanelle: " Covering naked lies you try to be kind" by Dhiman Das

Setting up your self expected answer on your mind
And pretend as if what will I say?
Covering naked lies you try to be kind.

Showering some thought provoking feels on behind
Uncrafting the words to say
Covering naked lies you try to be kind.

Tired of adjusting myself for your mind
Learning with those words to play
Showing your non existent feels you try to be kind.

Helping myself to remove you from the mind
Injecting overdose and behave in a way
Holding with the hands I control my mind.

Do not hold and make it timed
Taking false chances and make your way
Please don't behave as if you are kind.

I am not that easy to go away from your sight
Or even bother or that will affect in a way,
Even if you set your self expected answer on your mind
I can't be like you and ain't surrender to be unkind.

Comments

  1. Shubham AryaMarch 21, 2019 at 11:19 AM

    Hello Dhiman!
    First of all, good attempt! It's a tricky form, well done!
    On your early poems on this blog, I commented that you seem to jump to the next expression/thought/idea without grounding the first one. This formdemanded to do this precisely, and perhaps now you'll realize what I wanted to say.
    You've followed the form, although still to perfect.
    I guess come up with a titer title.
    You could think about improving at the level of expressions.
    Cheers!
    Jesus Loves You!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dhiman DasMarch 24, 2019 at 10:40 AM

      Yeah, okay. The title is according to the poem that I have thought. I could not think and also do not find any other title if it will be appropriate and yes I have kept your suggestions on my mind and this form of poem was little bit of working. Thanks for your feedback. If you are unable to find out with the expressions of this poem I can elaborate it but read it again hope it works then.

      Delete

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